that they might know Love

the leaves have mostly fallen
making a mulchy carpet for the garden city
but the few that cling to their branches by night
cast only eerie shadows
the streetlamps' attempts at golden light
are thwarted by this shroud
and made to look like distant haloed beacons
of a morning that might never come.
not for him
he does not know Love

his breath is tainted with wine and whiskey
but it comes out grey and fades into the fog
the fog that characterizes not only the air
but his heart, his mind, his spirit
his eyes
there is no joy in them
for he does not know Love

"love," he says, "is only bad.
It only brings bad. It is hurt.
It is pain. It is bitter.
Don't listen to it.
I see it in your eyes, but don't listen to it!
it will put you in the street like me!"
But he does not know Love

he has many years of laughter
making tracks on his face
but those deep cracks in the corners
are now only channels for tears
he will sleep here in the dirt tonight
sleep off the drink and start again tomorrow
and he will still not know Love

there are countless others
mangled reflections of men
all over this manicured city
they sleep in shopping carts
outside the department stores
where "normal people" pass every day
confusing them with the dogs that keep them warm

and none of them know Love

nor have I told them.


This is a poem for the homeless in Vina del Mar, Chile. Please join me in praying that the Lord will reveal his Truth and Love to them, that I will become a pure vessel for the Spirit to them, and yet praising God that when I fail, He will find another way to reveal Himself.

an attempt at roping the last few weeks into something coherent...

I've discovered that bullet points are the way to go when there's entirely too much to express and entirely too much time to cover. so:

* I like church. Union Cristiana is a lovely fellowship of believers that I have been going to on Sundays and they have a youth/college worship/Bible study thing on Friday nights as well. I spent the first half of my time here running away from the church, most of the time without even realizing it. but I was. And I think part of me needed to do that. I learned a lot during that time. I learned how to see God in everything, not just in words on a screen. I learned how to be alone. I learned how God seeks me. But now that I am actively in the Body again, I am learning too. I had forgotten how wonderfully sweet it is to be surrounded by people who love Jesus, how it feels when the whole room swells in unison when everybody's favorite part in the praise song comes, how beautiful it is to be taught, how precious new sisters can be. and it is good.
* I only have about 2 months left...and I'm kinda not ok with it. I feel like there's so much I want to do, people I wish I had been building relationships with, places I want to travel to, beautiful days I wasted...but I know when the time comes, I will be ready. I will be ready for Texas August heat, my Pandora stations, dogs that I can pet and love on without getting funny looks,
and MY family, not a pretend one that mostly just gives me food.
* I am going to miss speaking Spanish...weird.
* That post I made about Joy still rings true. I haven't lost her yet and I don't plan on it. and it's making life so much fuller.
* I have a cold again. Even though I don't believe what all the Chileans say about not wearing shoes or socks and having wet hair and going outside without a scarf and their direct corellation to colds, I think maybe the virus has started to believe it and function as such. "When in Rome" I suppose...
* I am in love with The Weepies
* Catie and I are looking for somewhere to go serve(not be tourists) the last half of July after my family leaves and before we come home. I emailed a Canadian missionary family in Bolivia that has an awesome ministry digging wells in super rural areas and other development things to see if we could come chill with them and see their life and help with some of their well projects. But if that doesn't work we might go to Peru and maybe meet up with our friend Kim who will be in the Andes somewhere with her team from IMB(International Mission Board) for a bit...basically we have no idea, we just know that we need to take advantage of that time to go somewhere and do something of worth. so we're just praying in faith that God in his goodness and wisdom will take us somewhere awesome. you can join us in that prayer if you like. also pray for our dear Kim as she just arrived in Peru yesterday and will be there for the next 10 weeks hanging out and talking about Jesus in rural villages.
* One of the first Chileanisms that I learned was the term "pololo" which means boyfriend(Polola for girlfriend), but which translates literally to bumblebee. The gerund form for dating, "pololeando," means to be bumblebeeing. adorable, right? well I learned the history of this lovely idiom the other day from some new firefighter friends: In the first fire house in Santiago way back when, the firemen had all these pins and medals and stuff on their uniforms, one of which was a little bee. When the firemen whould go away to Europe to study law or medicine, as was the custom, they would leave their girlfriends with this "pololo" pin so that she and everyone would know she was off limits and was dating a fireman. kinda the same concept as "getting pinned" in the 50's in the sates. fun, right?
* all firefighters in Chile are volunteers except the drivers of the firetruck. crazy.
* I can't seem to think af anything else at the moment and this is long enough, but hopefully I will be posting slightly more regularly and with more substance...

Gift

I went to put the sun to bed tonight
I walked down to the edge of the Earth
to tuck her into her watery cradle
though I went to serve her she gave me a gift

The gift of every shape that exists
and some that don't
of the richest hues eyes can comprehend
and some they can't

words dance through my mind
like the colors reflected in the waves
like the pigtailed girl who runs and squeals
at the seafoam lapping at her tiny toes

A lilac litany of lavender limericks
the color that fresh blackberries leave on your fingers
crimson knots outlined by a child
with a vivid tangerine crayola

gemstones appear in every cloud
too precious to be caged around someone's neck
the distant city scintillates like a thousand flames
the hills roll like the curves of a Chilean mother

a rainbow hoodied traveler joins me in silence
he too has come to kiss the sun goodnight
she drifts lower into her indigo velvet home
the horizon fades from a line to a monochromatic abyss

the sea and the sky become one rich mystery
taunting those here on the edge of the Earth to venture out
to find the sun, sleeping soundly
amid her folds and ruffles and cushions of night

but the waves keep pounding
the sea is always changing
and the sky will never look the same
as it did tonight when the sun gave me a gift